Why is everyone concentrating on the negatives?

I am moving to the United Kingdom! Yes I know... ' haven't you heard of a small thing called the recession?'... Funnily enough, under this rock that I live under, I do get TV reception. So I have checked out of this cave and booked myself a flight to see what sort of life I can carve out.

No matter where you are going or intending to do... if it is different from what your friends and family are doing it may be hard for them to accept. This is something all travellers making the big move should be prepared to come across. Just make sure your inner voice is louder than the outside influences.

The reasons I decided to go are purely selfish. I have always wanted to do this. It is this stupid childhood dream that has propelled me to leave friends, family and a good career to become a student... again!!! The funny thing about it is even though I am TERRIFIED at the moment I feel as if everyone else is more worried than me. This is starting to concern me because either I am a) in denial b) completely incapable or c) they are hiding something from me...

Yet this brings me to wonder.... why are we so preoccupied with everyone else's life?

Is it a distraction method similar to 'hey look over there!'?

If we are looking at one hand gesturing to the idiot with a one way ticket to Europe do we miss that fact that the other hand is inappropriately touching up someone else's wife? The problem within our own homes do not disappear when we discuss someone else's 'faults' they simply become the sideline act for that moment in time. Do we really need to take a break from moaning about our lives to complain about our neighbors life? It is like breaking your leg to help you forget the fact you broke your arm... no logic! As the problem is still there and now you can't even walk away from it. Moaning about someone else just aggravates the fact that you are unhappy! This negative emotion is what you will emanate.

I am taking a big plunge! This is a life changing event and often people would love the opportunity to do something like this. Yet if the fortuity never manifests itself is it more a lack of looking as opposed to a lack of opportunity? Or are we looking for the wrong thing? Perception is a powerful tool that is can be used the wrong way... to find lack instead of abundance!

It might not work out the way I envision but it could also be just want I am after. I truly believe that every moment, every event and every person has affected me has been the 'best thing that could ever happen to me'! I do not know everything but I know I cannot fail. Failure is a self fulfilling prophecy. Something that only occurs when you bring it into existence. I know that my move will not go to plan because nothing in life goes to plan. You simply adapt to the situation that has been given to you.

So I hope the next time we turn to someone to 'poo poo' their idea we take a moment... what is it really that we are complaining about? Honestly look into our hearts and figure out what we are trying to distract from. Take your energy back from other people and lay it within yourself. If your home is broken do not attempt to mend your neighbor's home when you have no tools, nor the experience to do so. It is hard to do... sit back and reflect on our own lives but we would all be better off if we did so.

The point of this post? To highlight some of the negativity that will surround your big move. You are excited yet your love ones may not match your enthusiasm. Sometimes you have to remember that they are concerned for you and that there may be other reasons why they are so negative. Just take a deep breathe, listen to their concerns and reassure them assertively that this is something you need and want to do.

If they continue? Then explain in detail WHY you need to explore your world. I had to do this as I had a negative friend update me with constant updates on every piece of bad news coming out of the UK. It is one thing to be informed but this was becoming overwhelming. I wrote him a lengthy letter thanking him for his concern, explaining my reasons then asking him to respect MY decision. He was very supportive afterwards. I hope you do not meet with the same animosity when you surprise your circle with your grand plans but if you do I know you will be able to deal with it!

The spark to light all fires.

So to start from the beginning I think it is important for you to know why I came here. To do that I need to take you back to when I was 7 years old. It was the first time I have ever been overseas and the first time I have ever been flying. The exhilaration of the first take off makes me smile to this day (a good 17 years later!). On top of that every time I disembarked we were in a new country, meeting new people and experiencing a different culture! My eyes were finally opening! It was a big world for a small girl but everything seemed within reach. I could do, see and be anyone. The world was mine for the taking and I wanted to live my life exploring it.

Fast forward 8 years and I had forgotten about my childhood aspirations to become a worldwide explorer. Yet quickly it all came rushing back with all of the freshness and glee of my 7 year old self as I jet-setted to Europe again. The world was new again and I wanted to explore it all. It was then at the age of 14 that I decided I wanted to be a pilot.

My father bought me a trial flight when we returned to Australia to ensure it was not a whim. I still remember that flight! The little Cessna 152 registration TXO. She was a orange beauty and I spent many hours in that aircraft firstly as a student then as an instructor myself. That first flight was as memorable as that first flight in the jumbo. I was allowed to handle the controls and for the first time I could taste the reality of my dream. I could feel my future and I had found the direction I would later come to be extremely grateful for. As I clasped that control column I took control of the life I wanted.

I remember being initially nervous which was not helped by the extremely cute flight instructor! (although as a 14 year old most people of the opposite sex were appealing). Then once we got airborne... I finally found home! I belonged there and I knew that was how I wanted to live my life. I wanted to live filled with excitement, doing what I loved and being where I wanted to be! I dedicated my life to finding and sharing greatness. I wanted to be more, see more and do more than would ever be expected or asked of me.

Now fast forward again to 2009. I was a working pilot and I had accomplished a lot. Yet while I was in a highly paid position, with great responsibility and respect, I was not entirely happy. Working as the deputy chief pilot afforded me a lot of admiration and was an excellent experience. I will never regret it yet I came to a point in my life where I was managing more than flying. I missed my 'home' and the travelling bug was biting me hard!

A very good friend and work colleague of mine told me to follow my heart. Unfortunately I did not know what my heart wanted as my mind had let my mind be flooded with other peoples expectations of me. I had to remember the desire caused by that dedication I had made 10 years prior. I had to find where my heart was. I spent many days and nights contemplating and reminiscing over the charmed life I had had. I realised that no longer was flying fulfilling all my desires. While I had built a beautiful life in Perth I had not honoured my desires. My heart wanted me to explore the world and to also explore the person I could be. Suddenly I realised that aviation was not my home but a vehicle that would help find my true place in the world.

In November 2009 I made my decision to leave for Europe to convert my Australian pilots licence, realise my dream of living in Europe and to fulfil a aching desire to explore the world!

So that is how the decision was born. It was something that was always there. A desire to explore other cultures and places as well as my own burning individuality. I had to come here. I had to define the feeling in my stomach that there was more to my world. I had no choice because that 7 year old within me is was cheering me on with the exact enthusiasm of that first lift off. This is exactly what I wanted then and what I need to do now. I am so extremely blessed to be able to do this!

No regrets!

My biggest fear was always of failure. I was terrified of the concept of never accomplishing anything, my life meaning nothing and becoming a noone. This fear was crippling and I often found myself holding back from life which of course meant that I was allowing my fear to also become my reality. Then one day I decided to define failure as I had to overcome my fear. This was an interesting task that I had set myself. What I was scared of was the end point in success. This was a clearly defined point where suddenly I was no longer on ‘the right path’. This is a fork in the road where after that everything goes wrong. Life as I know it ends and I am unhappy...

But then my thoughts began to evolve... What if I come to this metaphorical fork in the road, how do I know which is the ‘right’ path to take? Is it clearly marked? Well, no otherwise we would not take the ‘wrong’ path and we would follow the ‘yellow brick road’ that is supposed to lead us to a better life. So lets imagine that yellow brick road for the sake of the exercise. How do we know that at a point that is past our visual acuity that the yellow toned bricks will not dissolve to nothingness? There is only one way... trial and error! We take one step after another and we hope (even believe) the path will continue to unfold in front of us. Then... a wall.... what now? Some people may be defeated by this wall and turn around to start again. But what if, by using my best Macgyver skills, I am able to fashion a rope out of a fork and a stick of gum? Then I can climb over that wall and assess my next challenge. Now I am also propelled forward armed with the confidence from my triumph as I just I conquered a wall I once saw as a great opponent. I have begun to discover my ability to overcome adversity.

Where there is no doorway, search for a window...
So now my concept of failure is changing... My first definition was correct as failure IS that defined end point I discussed before... but only I can decide where that end point is by giving up, turning on my heels and returning to the start. Sometimes we have to diverge off our chosen path, sometimes we are forced off that path and sometimes we chose a new path. It is these moments where we can either crumble or learn the most powerful lessons. That is MY choice and I will never let anyone take that away from me. So now when I am forced off my path or on to another one I will try and see it for the opportunity that it is. Sure it is not what I consciously planned to do but maybe in the subconscious of my mind there was a deep seeded plan that is seeking out better paths, doorways or windows to climb through. But how did I get to this point where I am able to control my subconscious into believing in a plan that I am not able to develop within my consciousness? My consciousness actively develops a goal. I formulate the picture of this goal in my mind. If my goal was to travel (as it usually is) I will imagine the different countries I will visit, the interesting people I will interact with and the cultural experiences I will submerse myself in. This forms the basic picture and an end point. The middle stuff... the plan... not quite there yet but so what? Travelling is about the journey as much as the destination and so is any goal. So I research, imagine and I know that my path will be laid out in front of me. I cannot see the entire path lit but I can see two steps in front of me and that is enough to push me forward. I must believe that as I step forward the rest of my journey will unfold. It is not my job to worry about it but to simply allow it to happen. It is my job to allow my conscious to drive the idea, my subconscious to find or create the pathway and my heart to always decide on the best option for me.

So here I am living in cold UK (I dislike the cold but I am getting used to it!). I am exploring my new world and I am thoroughly enjoying myself. Did I reach a fork in the road when I decided to come here? Most definitely! It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to make but I think that I had no choice in the matter. I had to come here. If I did not then I would be looking back in many years time regretting it! I no longer fear failure but I embrace it as with every failure I find myself closer to success... plus I am having an absolute ball finding my way!
Live in the moment! Do what you have always wanted to do! Never let anyone tell you how to live your life! and Regret something you DID do and not something you DID NOT do!